The demise of the Catholic church

Source: My artwork from high school

I call myself "open-minded," but there is a part of me that smirks whenever I hear negative news about the Catholic church. I have no doubt that it's end is imminant. The biggest fail, of course, is the scandal involving the molestations by the priests. Even my mother-in-law, the most religiously faithful woman I know, has a bitter word or two for the church. There have been recent closings of schools and combining of churches. I think people just don't want to give money to the church to help fund the lawsuits.

I am open-minded, but only for the good in religion. I despise the Catholic church and all it stands for. I want to see it fail. I will be standing by laughing when it fails, screaming, "it's about time!" I was a prisoner of the Catholic beliefs for too many years. Sometimes I wonder if I would still have been an atheist if I belonged to a different Christian faith.

There is currently an investigation on improper actions by many local priests in my area. One of them I knew. He was the chaplain at my high school. He was also the priest who did the masses at the church I belonged to. I once made him a cake for his birthday. I liked him. I thought he was so nice and relatable. I want to know what he did that was improper. I really can't imagine it. I felt stomach-punched when I heard he was on the list. Even though I was definitely an atheist when this all came out, it hurt deeply. I trusted him!

There was another priest before him. Frankly, I was surprised he wasn't on the list. I loved him. He was a friend to all the kids at my high school. I freaked out a little bit inside when they announced he was leaving as chaplain of my high school. He hugged the kids. He kissed them. He kissed me on the lips, just a little peck. I was so vulnerable. Did he know that? Why did he kiss me? Did he kiss other girls? I felt so special and cared-for. My home life was a wreck, as I'd confided in him. He hugged me and made me feel so safe and loved. I still remember the smell of him. My mother wondered if he molested me. Not physically, but maybe a little bit mentally. Like I said... I loved him. Not in the male/female sense, just in the friend sense. I used to go to the lunch-time masses in the school chapel because of him. I miss him. He never hurt me. At least I don't believe he did.