I never questioned my religious beliefs until I was in my late 30s. I didn't realize I stopped believing in deities until recently, and that coincided with my then 12 y/o daughter's admission that she was atheist.
As a child, I was raised Roman Catholic. I was baptized, received first penance, first holy communion, and was confirmed. I went to church every Sunday and still have every prayer memorized. I went to confession prior to Sunday so that I could receive holy communion at mass. I attended Catholic schools all the way through high school. I prayed--sometimes really, really hard.
I hated it. I hated being told I HAD to go to church every Sunday. We didn't even get a break from it on vacation. I was humiliated at the thought of going to confess my sins, which weren't really all that bad. I used to confess things like saying God's name in vain, when it was just an innocent expression of, "Oh my God!" Yeah, really... I was that afraid of God's wrath!
Religion wasn't a family "thing." My mother worked a lot, so she rarely went to church with us. My bio-father wasn't around, and I don't remember if he actually ever went to church with us, but he did send me and my two siblings to the church across the street every Sunday on which he had us for visitation. My step-father, I believe, actually did go to church, and I have more to say about that, but it'll have to be in a separate blog because there is some deep shit there.
Welcome to my blog.
This is the first church I remember attending as a kid. I actually think back fondly at this time because I was so young and to me, religion felt good.
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