I went to church today

Yes, an atheist at church.

My son Kevin has started attending church with his girlfriend. He also attends weekly bible studies. I'm happy for him because its something he enjoys and he really seems to get something from it. He didn't want to go alone today, so he asked me to go with him. Now, he knows that I don't believe in God, so I think he was shocked that I said yes. I said yes for several reasons.

1. I love my son.
2. I always hated going to church alone as a kid. It sucked. Big time.
3. I wanted to use this as a bridge between us, since our religious differences are immense. I wanted him to understand that I support and encourage his religious choice.
4. I wanted to be sure that Kevin wasn't getting "sucked in" to religion to the extent that he gives all his money to them and starts trying to preach or convert people. (Evangelists are a turn-off in any religion!)

On our way into the church he asked me if I was nervous or excited. Nervous? Did he ask that because he knows I am an atheist? Because I haven't been to church in ages? Because I was stepping onto his turf? The truth is that I was not nervous or excited or anything really. I was curious and I did it because I love Kevin and don't want religion to ever become a rift between us. That is one reason I won't "come out" about being an atheist--the rifts it may cause. I refuse to allow my lack of religion to cause rifts. I would rather lie to people than to risk the relationships. That's one great thing about atheism--you don't "answer" to anyone. There is nobody to disappoint other than yourself. There is no God to frown upon you.

So let me tell you about the church and the service. I attended the Calvary Fellowship Church in Downingtown, Pa. The church is non-denominational. If I still believed in God and the bible, I would totally love being a member of this church. There was a live band--guitars, drums, piano, singer. It wasn't robotic and regimented like the Catholic masses I grew up with. It was upbeat and inviting. The service started out with the band playing/singing a religious song. Then everyone turned to those around them and greeted them. I liked this. These were people we were sharing an hour with, so why not say hi to them.

The sermon was good. I wondered if I'd be scoffing at what was being preached, since I don't believe in the bible. However, I found that if I took the "God" part out of it, the sermon could apply to anyone. There was one part that concerned me though, and I made sure I talked to Kevin about it afterwards. The preacher said that you should offer up your worries and fears to God in prayer and he would take care of you and offer you peace. If you take that literally... you'd have people pushing aside important responsibilities with the belief that somehow things would magically be taken care of for you. I remember talking to a "Jesus lover" who said to me, "Don't worry, God will provide." She said that to me after I told her I couldn't get information to her because I was at work. What I wanted to reply was, "Oh, will God send me a check to cover my mortgage payment if I lose my job?"

I am SO glad I didn't force Catholicism on my kids. They are making their own choices. I think that's how it should be.